My friend Susan loves to laugh at me and my diets. And I have to agree with her that I am nuts when it comes to dieting.
We were talking last week about all the crazy ways I have tried to shed pounds, and she challenged me to write down every diet I have ever tried. I really tried to do this, but it's impossible. I have tried them all. But one thing Susan said struck home: That no matter what diet I try, I give it my all, tell the world that this is the diet, and that this time I am really going to reach my goal, and stay there.
And Susan is correct: That's what I said. But I lied. Internally I was telling myself that I was a phony, and that I knew that there was no way I would ever stay on this diet for life. In most cases I was miserable, depriving myself of the foods I love. I hated the diet. And I probably wasn't all too happy with myself, because if I really loved me, I would never have treated myself this way.
What a revelation.
And yes, right now I am outwardly saying that I love the new Weight Watchers diet, but it's what I am saying to myself that makes me confident that this time it is for life. My inner voice is not telling me that I am a failure. Instead, my inner voice is agreeing with my outer voice, and believes that I am now on an eating plan, not a diet. My inner voice tells me daily that the way I am eating is making me feel happy and content, not deprived.
For the first time in my life, my inner voice is being kind to me. And I have to admit that I like this kinder, gentler inside me.