Steps 4-6 on my wellness campaign

The next three of 10 steps that according to SparksPeople, will start anyone on a wellness plan.

4. Start a journal. Your goals, desires, barriers, obstacles, excuses, solutions and plan should all be a part of your journal. Make your journal yours. Set it up so it’s easy to use so that you will use it. Include space to just let your thoughts flow. Use it to let out your feelings, vent, rejoice, or celebrate. You’ll be amazed at how freeing it is!


This is a hard one for me. I HATE to journal. But I am willing to give it a try. I was going strong with one a few months ago, actually liked doing it, but one day I just stopped.


5. Begin your journey where you’re standing now. Where are you right now, this moment, on your journey? Accept where you are and where you need to be and begin the steps necessary to bridge that gap. If, however, you find that old issues keep popping up, preventing you from reaching your goals, you may need to seek counseling. Sometimes the only way to move forward is to first go backward. 



This one I have to think about a bit. Not sure about the issue thing. And although I know why I have body and eating issues, I am tired of blaming my mom. Enough.

6. Take one step at a time. What happens when a builder forgets an important step in building a house? Or a chef leaves out an important ingredient in a recipe? Doesn’t work so well, does it? It’s the same thing with your life. You must take certain steps in order to reach a place of wellbeing—and make it fit your lifestyle. 



I am so trying this one step at a time thing. So one step it is. For me, I know the foundation is exercise, and in my case, yoga is it.

Goal setting

Today, I offer the first three of 10 steps that according to SparksPeople, will start anyone on a wellness plan. Instead of reposting all 10 steps at once, I am breaking them down because I truly think little steps are the best. Our minds can absorb just so much at one time.
We all know what to do – but sometimes gentle reminders and nudges go a long way in helping self-improvement. So here are the first three.

1. Write out your goals and desires. What’s your wellness vision? Where do you envision yourself three to five years from now? Set three-month and weekly goals based on your wellness vision. Goals should be SMART: Specific, Measurable, Action-based, Realistic and Time-oriented.


My wellness vision: To wake up each day knowing the day before I exercised and made terrific food decisions.
Five years from now: A closet full of one-size clothes.
Three-month goal: To lose 10 pounds, do yoga daily, and cardio at least three times a week.
Weekly goal: Drink 8 glasses of water each day.

2. Ask what, when and how. Make a list of the hurdles that keep getting in your way of living a life of wellness. Then determine which ones are true obstacles – things that you need to work around or find solutions to. And the excuses – ‘nuf said! 


My hurdles: Eating tons of meals this week on the road. It’s an obstacle, but if I pay attention to my body, really look for cues that say I am hungry, hopefully I will make good food choices.

3. Have a plan. Rarely, if ever, is any major task or project accomplished without a plan in place. Lay out a plan for accomplishing your goals, as well as solutions for overcoming the hurdles. This is your game plan – it should be flexible, but have fortitude, fun, but not “fluff.” And make it active. Include specific steps you will take to reach your goals. 


Steps:
• Do a morning meditation to set the tone for the day.
• Do at the very least 20 minutes of kundalini.
• Walk with Ann as much as possible.
• When I want to eat something I really shouldn’t, to remember: Stop. Drop. Stroll. Stop and think. Drop the food. Walk away.

Motivation

Every Monday I wake up committed to a week of healthy eating. By Tuesday, I start fighting with myself, and by Friday, I've kissed all my resolve good-bye.

So here's my latest attack plan to keep me on track: I have notes everywhere I sit for more than 10 minutes. That means at my desks -- work and home -- in the kitchen, in my car, in my bathroom, in my bag. And all notes say the same thing: Be strong.

For me, this is the simplest way to remind myself often that I need to stay the course. And sometimes, just seeing those two little words are what keeps me from reaching for something I shouldn't eat.

On days when I don't get enough sleep, and I know eating well will be problematic, I take a cue from Sarah Palin -- I write those two words on my palm. Cheat sheet.

Another thanks...

...this time to my friend Susan, who talked me down yesterday. I had decided that this Sunday morning I was going to attend an Overeaters Annonymous meeting, because it is exactly what I need.

Susan suggested I read my past posts instead and really comprehend what I wrote. I did, and I understand what Susan is saying. I think by coming to terms with the fact that I am a compulsive eater, I just might be able to get to the bottom of this compulsion and do something about it.

For years, I knew I binged, but it was something I kept a secret. Binges are horrid in all aspects. I don't even taste the food that's passing my lips, which is a shame, because I really love food. It's all about stuffing as much down my throat as I possibly can without vomiting. I had always said that if someone could identify the switch that takes me from eating normally to eating like a maniac, they would make a fortune. I think I have become to understand what turns that switch on. It is not one thing, but many things.

For some reason, the thought of being a binge eater was a lot easier for me to digest than the thought of me being a compulsive eater. Who me? Compulsive?

Susan, if you are reading this today you have probably uttered at least one "duh!" But self-realization is a hard pill to swallow.

But guess what? It's also a bit freeing. I have been fighting with myself for years, which has made me an angry person -- at least internally. Now that I know the diagnosis, I am going to fight like hell to make me healthy again -- this time from the inside out.

And now a quote from what is becoming my bible, Geneen Roth's Women Food and God. At 2 a.m. today, I read this sentence and a light went off in my brain:
"....eating compulsively is eating without regard to the body's cues; it therefore follows that when you develop the capacity to steer your attention back to your body, are aware of what it says and are wiling to listen to it, compulsuion falls away."

Amen.

Thanks, but....

Yesterday, one of my friends left a comment and said she is proud of me for resisting the chocolate chip cookies yesterday. And believe me, I loved the comment, but it really got me thinking.

I was proud of me too, but I also recognize that it doesn't take much for those cookies to be sitting in my pantry one minute, and in my stomach the next. And as I am eating those cookies, there is usually a dialogue going on my mind, telling me that yes, once again, I have lived up to my worst fears and given into temptation, that I am no good, that I have no willpower, and that how could anyone love such a wimp?

So now I am tyring to fix myself from the inside out. Yoga is helping tremendously. But I need more. Some would call it mindful eating, others might call it awareness, but what I am trying to do is pay attention to everything I decide to put into my mouth, and take stock of my feelings at the time. If I am reaching for a bag of licorice, I want to know if I am tired, depressed, angry, stressed, etc., etc., etc. One thing I do understand is that when I am reaching for licorice, I AM NOT HUNGRY.

I am reading Geneen Roth's "Women Food and God" with a group of women at my yoga studio, Yoga4Everybody in Fairfield. I am also taking Roth's online retreat that reinforces the book's ideas, all with the hope of discovering what makes me eat. Why can I be perfect on a diet for as long as six months, and then wake up one day, start eating off plan, and before I know it every pound I lost has come home.

I call this blog Diet? Not again! because I honestly don't want to be on a diet anymore. I am so tired of counting POINTS, of counting calories, of marking fat grams, of eating cardboard, and when I do eat something I think I shouldn't -- waiting for the guilt to take over.

Enough. I want to be normal. I want my obsession with food to go away.

2 accomplishments and it's only 6:30 am

First accomplishment: I voted.

And as soon as I exited the polling place, the cutest little girl was asking me if I would like to buy something at the bake sale. Without thinking I told her no, but I would give a donation. Success.

No sooner had I put my contribution in the jar that hubby, Jack, walks out of the polling room and says in his booming voice, "Got any chocolate chippers?" Of course they did. And now, so do we.

But that's OK. A few days ago I probably would have eaten one. Today I stared them down. It's my new game, and right now it's working. I looked at those homemade gobs of chewy goodness and screamed at them (it was a mental scream) "I am better than you. I deserve more."

Then I walked away, whipped up my new favorite breakfast -- coconut milk, a tablespoon of flax seeds, a scoop of whey powder and a cup of strawberries -- drank it with gusto, and am sitting here writing this with a big smile on my face.

Baby steps.

The day after THE day

Halloween is the holiday I love to hate. I outwardly talk about how much I cannot stand to have candy in the house, while secretly my mind is screaming "Bring it on!"

This year, I bought our candy Sunday, because I really could not risk having it in the house any sooner. I put it in a closet -- still in its original packaging -- and I was so busy yesterday, I swear I didn't give it a second thought until it started to get dark. Out came the candy -- but as I was putting it into the bowl, I stared it down while repeating over and over again: "I am better than you. I deserve more"

I now talk to candy. Great. But it worked.

Of course this year, not one trick-or-treater stopped by. The FULL bowl of candy was on our staircase as I was walking upstairs to go to bed last night, and my hand automatically slipped into the bowl and grabbed two pieces of chocolate. I looked at my hand, stared the candy down, and repeated yet again, "I am better than you. I deserve more."

I ate not one piece of candy yesterday. Zero. Nadda. What a feeling of accomplishment.