The joy of journaling: Did I really just write that as the headline of this blog post? Me, who would rather do anything than write down what I eat actually is enjoying it now?
How can this be? And why?
I don't know. But since Wednesday, I have been writing down everything that passes my lips. I think it's because the Weight Watchers plan is new, and I cannot easily keep a running total going in my head, as I did on the old plan. I'm not saying that was smart.
But what I've come to realize is that I actually like seeing what I am eating from day to day. It makes me feel in control, another feeling I have not had recently when it comes to my diet. My journal is holding me responsible, while also reminding me that I need to drink more water or add 2 teaspoons of oil to my salad.
This should come as no surprise since a recent study found that dieters who journal lose double the amount of weight than dieters who do not. So journal it is.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Monday, January 10, 2011
Yes!
Am I dreaming? I actually made it through the weekend staying true to the Weight Watchers plan, something I haven't done in years. I even fit in some wine Saturday night, and as I sipped my favorite beverage, I thought to myself, "This feels really good."
What a difference a week can make. I have no idea how much weight I have lost, but I feel so much lighter. Last week I felt bloated, had no energy, and was dreading my drive into work.
In the last paragraph I emphasized the word "lighter" because although I do feel as if a pin was stuck into my middle to let out some air, I am no place near being light. For me, this is an important distinction. Often, if I ate well for a few days, it wouldn't take much for me to remind myself of this fact and then "reward" myself with something I really should not be eating. And that would start an eating binge.
Today, I am determined not to do that. Right now, I am in what a psychologist would call "a good place," committed to losing weight, committed to my exercise routine, and determined that this time my outcome really will be different.
I started last week with two goals: to go to a WW meeting and to drink 8 glasses of water a day. Tuesday, I attended a meeting, and added another goal to last week: to journal daily. I accomplished both last week -- although I still have two days to go!
Piece of cake. Or should I say slab of salmon! So much healthier....
What a difference a week can make. I have no idea how much weight I have lost, but I feel so much lighter. Last week I felt bloated, had no energy, and was dreading my drive into work.
In the last paragraph I emphasized the word "lighter" because although I do feel as if a pin was stuck into my middle to let out some air, I am no place near being light. For me, this is an important distinction. Often, if I ate well for a few days, it wouldn't take much for me to remind myself of this fact and then "reward" myself with something I really should not be eating. And that would start an eating binge.
Today, I am determined not to do that. Right now, I am in what a psychologist would call "a good place," committed to losing weight, committed to my exercise routine, and determined that this time my outcome really will be different.
I started last week with two goals: to go to a WW meeting and to drink 8 glasses of water a day. Tuesday, I attended a meeting, and added another goal to last week: to journal daily. I accomplished both last week -- although I still have two days to go!
Piece of cake. Or should I say slab of salmon! So much healthier....
Friday, January 7, 2011
My journey
A year ago, if someone had told me I would be leaving my house at 4:30 to get to a yoga class at 5, I would have internally said, "Not me."
A year ago, if someone had told me that I would be making walking dates -- scheduling them as I would a hair, nail or doctor appointment -- I would have internally said, "Not me."
It's the word "internally" that is key here. I talked a good game. I even wrote words that I believed to be true, but I didn't really believe I would ever love exercise.
I always exercised -- in spurts -- and always hated it. I would start exercising like a mad women, and before long, I would pull a muscle, which meant I could not exercise for a few weeks, and those few weeks turned into months.
I always found yoga intimidating -- but intriguing. In July I decided to give it a try -- after I had written a yoga story for HealthyLife magazine. Yoga4Everybody in Fairfield offers a $30 introductory fee for a month that allows you to take as many classes as you want. For the first time in my life I started slowly, with two gentle yoga classes and one restorative yoga class a week. After the first class, I found as if I had come home. My yoga classes soon became permanent fixtures in my calendar.
Yoga is now a way of life for me, a practice I do daily, sometimes two or three times a day. Sometimes it's only meditation, sometimes it's breathing, and sometimes it's a class. Today was a monthly 2 1/2 hour morning Sadhana, an inspiring, magical, almost mystical mix of sitting meditation, postures, breath and chanting. It is part of Kundalini yoga, which has become my favorite way to find inner peace and strength.
And after Sadhana, I headed to the mall for an hour power walk with my exercise buddy, Ann. I looked at my watch at 8:30, laughed, and said to Ann, "Do you believe I have just done 3 1/2 hours of exercise." Our walks are a therpay of sorts. We work out all sorts of issues, talk about everything, and before we know it, an hour has flown by.
I always knew that to embrace anything, you have to love doing it. Yoga and walking are making me whole. They are helping me become strong. And along the way, I am becoming a much happier person.
A year ago, if someone had told me that I would be making walking dates -- scheduling them as I would a hair, nail or doctor appointment -- I would have internally said, "Not me."
It's the word "internally" that is key here. I talked a good game. I even wrote words that I believed to be true, but I didn't really believe I would ever love exercise.
I always exercised -- in spurts -- and always hated it. I would start exercising like a mad women, and before long, I would pull a muscle, which meant I could not exercise for a few weeks, and those few weeks turned into months.
I always found yoga intimidating -- but intriguing. In July I decided to give it a try -- after I had written a yoga story for HealthyLife magazine. Yoga4Everybody in Fairfield offers a $30 introductory fee for a month that allows you to take as many classes as you want. For the first time in my life I started slowly, with two gentle yoga classes and one restorative yoga class a week. After the first class, I found as if I had come home. My yoga classes soon became permanent fixtures in my calendar.
Yoga is now a way of life for me, a practice I do daily, sometimes two or three times a day. Sometimes it's only meditation, sometimes it's breathing, and sometimes it's a class. Today was a monthly 2 1/2 hour morning Sadhana, an inspiring, magical, almost mystical mix of sitting meditation, postures, breath and chanting. It is part of Kundalini yoga, which has become my favorite way to find inner peace and strength.
And after Sadhana, I headed to the mall for an hour power walk with my exercise buddy, Ann. I looked at my watch at 8:30, laughed, and said to Ann, "Do you believe I have just done 3 1/2 hours of exercise." Our walks are a therpay of sorts. We work out all sorts of issues, talk about everything, and before we know it, an hour has flown by.
I always knew that to embrace anything, you have to love doing it. Yoga and walking are making me whole. They are helping me become strong. And along the way, I am becoming a much happier person.
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Day 1
What a day I had yesterday! I ate well -- and often -- and each time I was hungry, I reached for a piece of fruit. I'm really loving this new Weight Watchers PointsPlus (PP for short).
It actually felt kind of decadent eating a banana before breakfast, sprinkling my oatmeal with 1/4 cup dried cherries (OK, those count as 4 PP), having a grapefruit as a mid-morning snack, and adding a diced apple to my lunch salad. I could have fit this much fruit into the old Weight Watchers plan, but I didn't. I'm not sure why.
I was thinking about the "why" on my drive home from work last night, combined with the notion that the PP plan is not a diet. How great it would be if I really can train myself to reach for fruit instead of a bag of Twizzlers. There is something psychological about a food being zero PP that makes you want to choose it over something that could eat up most of my daily PP allotment. And when it's fruit, that makes it special. Most vegetables have always been zero Points, but veggies are just not the same.
And speaking of veggies, I also discovered that winter squash and pumpkin now weigh in as zero PP. Personally, I could eat one a day. In the past, this alone would have eaten up some serious Points.
For the first time in years, I really believe I have a chance to stop yo-yoing my way though life. That last sentence just made me smile.
It actually felt kind of decadent eating a banana before breakfast, sprinkling my oatmeal with 1/4 cup dried cherries (OK, those count as 4 PP), having a grapefruit as a mid-morning snack, and adding a diced apple to my lunch salad. I could have fit this much fruit into the old Weight Watchers plan, but I didn't. I'm not sure why.
I was thinking about the "why" on my drive home from work last night, combined with the notion that the PP plan is not a diet. How great it would be if I really can train myself to reach for fruit instead of a bag of Twizzlers. There is something psychological about a food being zero PP that makes you want to choose it over something that could eat up most of my daily PP allotment. And when it's fruit, that makes it special. Most vegetables have always been zero Points, but veggies are just not the same.
And speaking of veggies, I also discovered that winter squash and pumpkin now weigh in as zero PP. Personally, I could eat one a day. In the past, this alone would have eaten up some serious Points.
For the first time in years, I really believe I have a chance to stop yo-yoing my way though life. That last sentence just made me smile.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
My new day
Jennifer Hudson, here I come.
All day yesterday, her new song was playing over and over in my mind, except I imagined her singing to me -- "Val, it's your new day!"
And I did what I said I would do yesterday: I made my Weight Watchers meeting. It really was like coming home. My leader, Karen, was really happy to see Jack and me, as was my WW buddy, Donna, the lovely woman Jack and I convinced that Weight Watchers really is the way to go -- and the one who has now lost 30 pounds and is looking really great.
I could have been Donna. Instead, I am exactly 5 pounds heavier than I was this time last year. But enough about the past. It's time to concentrate on the future. For me, 2011 will be the year I shed my extra weight -- forever. I am not looking for a quick fix. I am looking at this as my year-long project, and by the time I ring in 2012, I will be thin.
And I love WW's new plan, PointsPlus. The fact that I can eat all the fruits and veggies I want -- without counting them as any PointsPlus -- is freeing. On the way home from our meeting last night, we stopped at the grocery store and I bought bananas and grapes -- fruits I would have to portion into servings on the old plan -- but now fruits I can eat with abandon.
Kind of. We are still instructed to eat until we are full, so if I am really hungry, I should slowly eat a banana, wait 20 minutes, and then see if I am still hungry. If so, eat a second.
Sounds easy. Of course, I know it's not. But it can become a learned behavior. Besides, it's really time this old dog learned some new tricks.
We are also encouraged to set a goal for the week. Always the over-achiever, I have two.
1. I will drink 8 8-ounce glasses of water a day.
2. I will journal, writing down everything that passes my lips. I know the importance of journaling, that studies have shown those who journal lose double the weight of those dieters who never journal. So journal I will.
And oh -- one more thing. I will forever delete the word diet from my vocabulary. It was made very clear to us last night that WW is not a diet -- that it is a way of eating for life. And what a phony I am to call my blog Diet? Not Again!, and then call WW a diet plan.
This is my new day, my new way. And right now I am feeling on top of the world. If Jennifer Hudson can do it, so can I.
All day yesterday, her new song was playing over and over in my mind, except I imagined her singing to me -- "Val, it's your new day!"
And I did what I said I would do yesterday: I made my Weight Watchers meeting. It really was like coming home. My leader, Karen, was really happy to see Jack and me, as was my WW buddy, Donna, the lovely woman Jack and I convinced that Weight Watchers really is the way to go -- and the one who has now lost 30 pounds and is looking really great.
I could have been Donna. Instead, I am exactly 5 pounds heavier than I was this time last year. But enough about the past. It's time to concentrate on the future. For me, 2011 will be the year I shed my extra weight -- forever. I am not looking for a quick fix. I am looking at this as my year-long project, and by the time I ring in 2012, I will be thin.
And I love WW's new plan, PointsPlus. The fact that I can eat all the fruits and veggies I want -- without counting them as any PointsPlus -- is freeing. On the way home from our meeting last night, we stopped at the grocery store and I bought bananas and grapes -- fruits I would have to portion into servings on the old plan -- but now fruits I can eat with abandon.
Kind of. We are still instructed to eat until we are full, so if I am really hungry, I should slowly eat a banana, wait 20 minutes, and then see if I am still hungry. If so, eat a second.
Sounds easy. Of course, I know it's not. But it can become a learned behavior. Besides, it's really time this old dog learned some new tricks.
We are also encouraged to set a goal for the week. Always the over-achiever, I have two.
1. I will drink 8 8-ounce glasses of water a day.
2. I will journal, writing down everything that passes my lips. I know the importance of journaling, that studies have shown those who journal lose double the weight of those dieters who never journal. So journal I will.
And oh -- one more thing. I will forever delete the word diet from my vocabulary. It was made very clear to us last night that WW is not a diet -- that it is a way of eating for life. And what a phony I am to call my blog Diet? Not Again!, and then call WW a diet plan.
This is my new day, my new way. And right now I am feeling on top of the world. If Jennifer Hudson can do it, so can I.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
A confession
If I do nothing else today, I am going to Weight Watchers. If I get tied up at work, I will excuse myself, say I have an important meeting, and leave.
I need the support I get at meetings. I need structure. And more than anything else, I need to lose weight. For me, it's become a matter of life.
Last month, I was working on a story about the importance of sleep for HealthyLife magazine, and decided the best way to find out what a sleep study is all about is to sleep at a sleep center. Before I had time to realize what I had committed to, I was spending the night at Stamford Hospital's Sleep Center. A week later I found out I have sleep apnea, and although mild, I do have 12 episodes an hour. The diagnosis hit me hard, coming on the heels of the death of my dear brother-in-law. When our peers start dying, especially those we love without reserve, the reality of death hits hard.
And to find out I stop breathing 12 times an hour is scary. Stamford Hospital told me my case is mild, but to stop breathing even once a night is not something I find attractive. And although losing weight might not cure my apnea, it certainly is a step in the right direction.
I have written my story for HealthyLife, including a first person on the Sleep Center experience. But before the story publishes in HelathyLife, I wanted to write about it on my blog. Now that I've written it down, I feel lighter already.
The Weight Watchers meeting is on my schedule.
I need the support I get at meetings. I need structure. And more than anything else, I need to lose weight. For me, it's become a matter of life.
Last month, I was working on a story about the importance of sleep for HealthyLife magazine, and decided the best way to find out what a sleep study is all about is to sleep at a sleep center. Before I had time to realize what I had committed to, I was spending the night at Stamford Hospital's Sleep Center. A week later I found out I have sleep apnea, and although mild, I do have 12 episodes an hour. The diagnosis hit me hard, coming on the heels of the death of my dear brother-in-law. When our peers start dying, especially those we love without reserve, the reality of death hits hard.
And to find out I stop breathing 12 times an hour is scary. Stamford Hospital told me my case is mild, but to stop breathing even once a night is not something I find attractive. And although losing weight might not cure my apnea, it certainly is a step in the right direction.
I have written my story for HealthyLife, including a first person on the Sleep Center experience. But before the story publishes in HelathyLife, I wanted to write about it on my blog. Now that I've written it down, I feel lighter already.
The Weight Watchers meeting is on my schedule.
Monday, January 3, 2011
New year
The reason I have ignored my blog for two weeks is simple: I was too busy shoving all the foods I have avoided for months into my mouth.
To say my eating has been out of control is an understatement. And each day I would wake up, determined to be good, and by noon, those great intentions were gone.
What really frosts me about the last two weeks is that I ignored this blog. I thought about it a lot, but I never went near my computer. And write about how challenging these weeks were is exactly what I should have been doing. God knows I am not perfect. And God also knows that when it comes to food, I have lots of demons to slay.
But today I did something I haven't been able to do in weeks: I found some leftover cake in the freezer and I tossed it. Huge step.
And the reason I threw out the cake: My friend Ann, the one I made my written exercise contract with in August -- and the one I have started a healthy eating contract with -- has been on my back big time the last 24 hours. After yesterday's walk, she knew my heart is just not into dieting. Since then, my email has been flooded with Ann-sent motivational notes. My two favorite:
1. Don't be defeatest. Be defeetest -- start walking.
2. AND, my favorite: Only you can stop you.
Throwing out the cake today was a first step. It almost came into work with me, and that would have been a disaster. But I remembered that I am the only one who can stop me.
Writing is the second step.
I keep saying that winning the battle of my bulges is all about baby steps.
I have two goals this week:
1. Drink at least 8 glasses of water a day.
2. Go to Weight Watchers tomorrow night.
The first goal goes into the category of a baby step. The second goal would be a toddler step. (Following the WW program would be a giant leap.)
Here's to a healthy 2011. Next year I do not want my resolution to be about losing weight. Enough already!
To say my eating has been out of control is an understatement. And each day I would wake up, determined to be good, and by noon, those great intentions were gone.
What really frosts me about the last two weeks is that I ignored this blog. I thought about it a lot, but I never went near my computer. And write about how challenging these weeks were is exactly what I should have been doing. God knows I am not perfect. And God also knows that when it comes to food, I have lots of demons to slay.
But today I did something I haven't been able to do in weeks: I found some leftover cake in the freezer and I tossed it. Huge step.
And the reason I threw out the cake: My friend Ann, the one I made my written exercise contract with in August -- and the one I have started a healthy eating contract with -- has been on my back big time the last 24 hours. After yesterday's walk, she knew my heart is just not into dieting. Since then, my email has been flooded with Ann-sent motivational notes. My two favorite:
1. Don't be defeatest. Be defeetest -- start walking.
2. AND, my favorite: Only you can stop you.
Throwing out the cake today was a first step. It almost came into work with me, and that would have been a disaster. But I remembered that I am the only one who can stop me.
Writing is the second step.
I keep saying that winning the battle of my bulges is all about baby steps.
I have two goals this week:
1. Drink at least 8 glasses of water a day.
2. Go to Weight Watchers tomorrow night.
The first goal goes into the category of a baby step. The second goal would be a toddler step. (Following the WW program would be a giant leap.)
Here's to a healthy 2011. Next year I do not want my resolution to be about losing weight. Enough already!
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