This joke's on me

There is something comforting about old friends. We joke, we talk, we've watched our families blossom -- but most of all, we laugh.

Friday night we had book club at Bloodroot, the feminist vegetarian restaurant in Bridgeport that is perfect for a group of women to get together for hours to chat. After we discussed the book, Sarah's Key, the conversation naturally drifted toward diets, the subject that has occupied our lives since our kids were small. This night we talked about the worst diets we had all been on, which made us laugh so hard we had tears in our eyes.

If there is one thing we have all been, it's consistently on and off diets.

I told the story of signing up for Jennie Craig, and as I was leaving, bumping into one of the women at Bloodroot this night. We laughed and laughed, but when I was alone in the car, on the way home, this fact hit me hard: We have all spent too much of our waking days obsessing about our weight.

I wish I could turn back the hands of time, go back a few decades and appreciate the importance of reaching a goal weight and sticking to it. It's time for me to stop fooling around. Consistently eating lean protein, tons of fruits and veggies, avoiding sugar and exercising daily can add years to my life. And now, I need all the extra years I can get.

Enough laughing. It's time to get serious.

Bloodroot revisited

Yesterday I promised to share a recipe from Bloodroot, a wonderfully special vegetarian restaurant in Black Rock, one of the last bastions of community left in Connecticut. And although Black Rock is in Bridgeport, it is the true essence of community, and a place I have often thought would be terrific to be a part. Bloodroot is the embodiment of community.

1976 was a momentous year for Bloodroot's owner, Selma Miriam, the year she got a divorce and started Bloodroot with the help of her parents. From the start, she wanted it to be a center for feminists and their friends.

It is that, and so much more. It is one of the more welcoming restaurants in the area, a no-frills oasis where the foods of the day are posted on two blackboards, one of the first things you notice when you enter Bloodroot. You give your order to the person at the front desk, you collect your order at the kitchen window, and you bus your table when you have finished your amazing meal. (If you are wondering, tipping is not allowed!)

The chairs, tables and dinnerware are mismatched, but this all lends an authenticity to the place that a matched set of china would never convey. Selma and her friends have created a genuine oasis, situated directly on Long Island Sound. It's certainly a place where women can feel comfortable. But thank goodness we have grown as a society, and not just evolved men feel comfortable here as well.

She named her restaurant after a native New England wildflower, which usually grows in the woods but it just as happy growing in the sandy soil along the shore. Its roots branch, throwing vertical leaves -- and finally flowers -- as it grows. For Selma, the plant is joined, but separate, never invasive, but long lived. And like the plant, Bloodroot it now in its 33rd year in business, a feat in itself.

And now for the food. It is always seasonal, so you never know what delights await on the blackboards. And the only hard decision once you enter the front door is what to order: Everything sounds delicious, and it is. Selma and the kitchen staff turn out dish after dish of honest, clean food, the type that we all should be eating more of because it is so healthy.

Our lunch on Saturday was a feast, starting with an artisan cheese course of two sheep cheeses, three cow, some jam and raw nuts. But the recipe I am sharing from the lunch is the salad I chose, a simple arugula dressed with a perfect vinaigrette. For me, one of the signs of a great cook is a salad that when I finish, I am sad the experience has ended. This is such a salad, perfect in its simplicity. I could have chosen one of the more unusual selections to share today, but for me, this salad is what Bloodroot is all about.

You will also notice that Bloodroot's recipe style is not traditional, but then why would it be? The recipe is from "The Best of Bloodroot, Volume One, Vegetarian Recipes." It is one of a pair, the other focusing on vegan recipes. A matched pair, and one worth buying if you give Bloodroot a try: 85 Ferris St., Bridgeport; 203-576-9168; www.Bloodroot.com. The books are $27.50 each, and worth every cent.

ARUGULA SALAD WITH PARMESAN

1. You will need a small bunch of arugula for each diner. Wash it well and combine with other greens or not, as you prefer, on each plate. Slice radishes over.

2. Make a garlic dressing by combining in a screw cap jar: 1 cup olive oil, 1/4 cup wine vinegar, 1 clove crushed garlic, and 2 teaspoons prepared mustard. Add 1 teaspoon salt and pepper to taste. Set aside.

3. Use a cheese plane to make large curls of Reggiano Parmesan. A quarter pound will yield enough cheese for a dozen salads.

4. Just before dinner, top each salad with Parmesan curls and dressings.

Makes enough dressing for 6 to 8 servings.

Bloodroot: A very special place

Saturday was a lovely day. Our soon-to-be bride, Kara, had her first fitting -- and she looked so beautiful, so grown-up, so perfect, of course the tears flowed. Next, I got to see our daughter-in-law, Kim, in her bridesmaid's dress, and all I could think of was how happy we will all be in just a few weeks.

And then we visited designer Jennifer Butler in downtown Fairfield, who reassured me that she can easily make my mother-0f-the-bride dress by the wedding. What a relief. And what fun. I've never had a dress custom-made for me before.

For lunch, we headed to Bloodroot, a vegetarian restaurant tucked away on a side street in the Black Rock section of Bridgeport. It is right on the water, and although the gale-force winds made it difficult to walk from the parking lot into the restaurant, once inside, it was warm and comforting.

Tomorrow, I am going to share a recipe from our lunch, but today I want to focus on a sign hanging in the restaurant. I wish I had taken down the words, but the essence of the message is that women have been oppressed and bombarded with negative body image messages for too long, and when you read the menu, please don't comment on calorie count or ask what foods are the least fattening.

I applauded the sign, and told owner Selma Miriam how much I loved it. Her honest reply: "We just make healthy food."

Powerful message, Selma. And exactly how we all should approach eating. Sunday, I spent a lot of time thinking about that message. I was also reminded by blog reader Ann Blystone that the way I am eating now is not a diet, but a lifestyle change.

I am fine for now, dedicated to only eating healthy foods in small portions. But what happens once Kara gets married and the need to lose weight flies out the window? I'm praying that does not happen, but I am a creature of habit, and that has been my M.O. Lose weight. Gain weight. Lose weight. Gain weight. Yadda. Yadda. Yadda.

Can this old dog be taught new tricks?