Fresh beginnings

I look a tad better than I did this time last week. And see, there is a beginning of a smile on my face.

I am finally understanding the power of photos. I have always hid in photos. I'm the one in the last row or grabbing a child to sit on my lap or hold in my arms. And I ask you: Who am I kidding?

When I look at myself in a mirror, I look at my face -- real close -- so I don't have to see how round it's become. I never look at my body -- and if I do, again it's real close, so I don't actually see how all the rolls of fat.

Pictures don't lie. And although this weekly exercise is one of the more painful I have ever done in my life, it's important for me to see myself as other people see me. What I should have done is take pictures from each angle -- but I really need baby steps here. Full-frontal is about all I can manage right now.

I am facing one of my great fears -- pictures -- head-on. I'm not liking what I see, but what a chronicle!