So embarrassing!

With what I am gong to admit, it is obvious that I have absolutely no shame. But I found a great way to add 500 steps to my walking total, and when your goal is 10,000 steps a day, every extra one helps.

I've made brushing my teeth each morning fun.

To the tune of the Happy Birthday song I sing (while brushing my teeth):

Happy Monday (or Tuesday, Wednesday, etc.) to me
Happy Monday (or Tuesday, Wednesday, etc.) to me
Happy Monday dear Valerie
Make Monday (or Tuesday, Wednesday, etc.) the best it can be.

I march in place when I silently sing this ditty. And I sing it 12 times, six times while brushing my top teeth; six times while brushing my bottom. (I also use an electric toothbrush, so I don't have to remember to move the toothbrush up and down.)

Here's how I get the 12 songs in:
Top left side of my teeth: Once while brushing the front, once while brushing the back.
Top front teeth: Once while brushing the front, once while brushing the back.
Top right side of my teeth: Once while brushing the front, once while brushing the back.

That makes six. Repeat on the bottom.

As I get better at this, my steps increased. When I started I was completing about 350 steps. Now, 500. Soon, who knows? All I know is that by the time I hit the gym every morning, I've already got a leg up on my steps.

Plus, the affirmation of making each day great helps my mood. I call it my tooth mantra. Now I'm even laughing at myself.

Avocados

                                  YUM! Shrimp, avocados, mango and couscous.

I used to avoid avocados like the plague because of the fat content. But the more I read about this fruit, the more I understand that it should become part of my diet. Avocados are rich in heart-healthy monounsaturated fats, potassium, vitamin E, fiber, folate, and vitamin B6 -- all important components of a healthy diet.

So eat avocados I do. Added to my salad, they impart a creaminess impossible to find in any other food. Actually, it is kind of decadent.

I prefer Haas avocados, the ones with the pebbly green skin that turns almost black as it ripens. For me, they have more flavor than the green, smooth-skinned Fuerte. In my market, avocados have become so popular, there is a section reserved for those that are ripe and ready to eat. If not ripe, bring it home to ripen for a few days at room temperature. Unripe avocados lack flavor -- plus they are hard. You really want to eat them ripe.

Ripe avocados will yield a little to pressure. If they form a dent when gently squeezed, it has past its prime and is best left at the store.

Once ripe, they will keep a few days in the fridge.

To pit, slice lengthwise and twist it gently to seperate the two halves. I learned the next step from my California cousins, who have avocado trees growing the their backyards: Pierce the pit with the tip of a sharp knife and it will pop right out. If you are not using the whole avocado, squeeze lemon over the exposed flesh, wrap with plastic, and store in the refrigerator.

And now for an amazing recipe, which stars one of my favorite foods, shrimp. It's from the California Advocao Commission.

COUSCOUS WITH SHRIMP, AVOCADO AND MANGO

• 24 large shrimp, peeled and deveined
• 1 Tbsp. seafood grill seasoning
• Olive oil, optional
• 2 cups water
• 1 (10-oz.) box plain couscous
• 1 Tbsp. olive oil
• ½ tsp. salt
• 2 ripe avocados, peeled, seeded and cut into 1-inch cubes, see Note
• 2 Tbsp. fresh lemon juice
• 1 ripe mango, peeled, pitted and cut into 1-inch cubes
• 2 scallions, thinly sliced on diagonal
• 1 cup cooked edamame (shelled soybeans)

Mango-Lime Dressing

• 1 ripe mango, peeled, pitted and cut into 1-inch cubes
• ½ cup fresh lime juice
• ¼ cup olive oil
• 2  cloves garlic, finely chopped
• 1 tsp. Dijon-style mustard
• ½ tsp. sea salt
• ¼ tsp. ground white pepper
• ¼ tsp. ground cumin
• 2 Tbsp. snipped fresh mint leaves
• 2 Tbsp. snipped fresh cilantro leaves

1. Toss shrimp with seasoning. Barbecue or sauté in olive oil for about 3 minutes, turning over once. Remove to plate; set aside.
2. In a 2-quart pan, bring water to a boil. Stir in couscous, oil and salt. Remove from heat, cover and let stand for 5 minutes.
3. In a bowl, combine avocado and lemon juice; set aside.
4. Remove lid from pan and fluff couscous; cool. Pour couscous into a large mixing bowl. Add avocado, mango, onions and edamame.
5. Pour dressing over salad, as needed. Toss to coat.
6. Serve onto plates and top with cooked shrimp.

Dressing:
1. In a food processor, add mango, juice, oil, garlic, mustard, salt, pepper and cumin. Purée, using the pulse button; set aside.
2. Mix mint and cilantro into dressing immediately before using.

Note: Large avocados are recommended for this recipe. A large avocado averages about 8 ounces. If using smaller or larger size avocados adjust the quantity accordingly.

Makes 8 servings, per serving: calories 270; total fat 16g (sat 2g,  trans 0g, poly 2g, Mono 1 g); cholesterol 30mg; sodium 560mg; total carbohydrates 25g; dietary Ffber 5g; protein 9g

Mindless no more

                                      I love this take on the government's
                                      Healthy Eating Plate, which shows you
                                      how to truly eat mindfully. It's from
                                      www.eatingmindfully.com.

Last October I spent a week at the yoga retreat, Kripalu, immersing myself in a mindful eating course. It was life changing at the time, but soon I was back to my old habits. Once again I failed.

Eating mindfully is all about paying attention to the food you are about to eat, before it passes your lips, smelling and enjoying its shape and texture. Next, you savor every bite, chewing each morsel for a long time, and listening to your body tell you when it is no longer hungry. A meal has to take at least 20 minutes, because that's how long it takes for your tummy to signal your brain that you have had enough food.

I learned the best way to accomplish this is to eat at a table, but trying to get Jack there each night for dinner is a losing battle: We have eaten in front of the TV for too many years. But I was using that as an excuse not to practice my mindful eating.

Two weeks ago, in the middle of a TV dinner, I started to pay attention to my food, so much so that I got up from the couch and got out a pair of chopsticks, the one utensil that really slows my eating down. It took me 30 minutes to eat this meal, and when I was finished, I was sated and content.

A few nights ago I put the chopsticks away, because I now trust myself to eat slowly. I like it better. I am a terrific cook, so why shouldn't a savor each bite, and stretch the food experience out a little longer?

The result: After every dinner now I am not thinking about food. No urges for a second helping. No cravings for dessert. Progress.

As I make every little change, I am hoping that they become permanent and last more than a few months. I know this is not easy, since I can -- and have -- reverted to bad habits in the past.

But so far, drinking more water and eating slower is beginning to pay off. Let's see where else this journey of self discovery will lead me.

Bottoms up!

 

I always thought I was terrific, drinking eight 8-ounce glasses of water a day and never complaining. Not anymore.

I have now read enough info to backup the fact that 64 ounces of water is fine for someone who weighs 128 pounds. Uh, that's probably how much my legs weigh. In fact, many nutritionists now advise you drink half your weight in water daily, and add an extra 8-ounce glass for every cup of coffee or soda you drink.

If I admitted how much water I now drink each day I would be admitting my weight, since I only drink a cup of coffee and no soda. Suffice it to say, it's a lot.

But now, instead of guzzling my water, I am sipping it through a straw throughout the day. Little sips that keep me well hydrated through all my activities, including exercise. And I have discovered four things:

1. I can keep exercising longer.
2. I have more energy throughout the day.
3. I am never hungry.
4. My skin is more supple, and some of my dry spots are becoming more moist.

I used to guzzle my water in large increments, only to be rushing to the bathroom about 20 minutes after I finished drinking that glass. My little sips have stopped that, and I can't help but think they are doing my body more good than the gulps. The water is staying inside me for a longer period of time. Instead of rushing to the bathroom, I make a few trips throughout the day, not immediately peeing it out before the water can grab internal toxins to come along for the journey.

I'll drink to this!

True meaning of binging

                                             Dr. Oz talks to two binge eaters.

Last Wednesday's Dr. Oz show was all about binge eating. I have said in the past that I am a binge eater, and then I saw the show. Binge eaters are people who cannot control their eating, every day, 365 days a year.

I am not in the category. I can go weeks eating a healthy diet, and then every now and then I start obsessing about food, go to the market, and usually come  home with one of two things: a pint of ice cream and cookies or a large package of Twizzlers. I open my binge du jour, and without thinking, sit on the couch and eat until the last morsel is gone. For me, that's a binge.

These women spoke of eating marathons, usually lasting at least four hours, in which they could consume whole pizzas, packages of chips and cookies, large containers of ice cream, corn dogs ... the list of foods go on and on.

So now I know my binges are  not really binges, but just breaks in good eating habits. If I had no weight to lose, I could maintain my weight with a few of these binges every now. Except....

Dr. Oz showed an X-ray of what happens to a person's stomach after any binge. That means me. It takes over the space in which the intestines usually reside, compressing them down. The pancreas gets displaced, as do other organs. That was the warm-up.

He then showed a picture of a normal-weight person who binged for quite a few hours, and by the time he arrived at the ER, he was dead. His stomach in the picture was blue, which means it died, which caused all of his other organs to die. The picture of that open blue belly is forever imprinted in my mind.

Dr. Oz closed his show with some sage advice, which I have written out and placed on my desk: "What will life be like to feel my feelings instead of eating them."

When I can answer that question, I know I will no longer have any weight issues.

The cycle of abuse

Yesterday I listened to Denise Brown talk about her sister, Nicole's, life struggle with OJ Simpson. The event was the annual luncheon of The Center for Women and Families of Eastern Fairfield County, an organization that helps keep thousands of women safe each year, in addition to educating anyone who will listen about domestic abuse and sexual assault. We all know Nicole's story, and for years, we watched her anguished family seek justice for the daugther and sister they loved.

As I listened to Denise, I began thinking how someone's actions 17 years ago changed her life forever. Denise is now an advocate, appearing before Congress and organzations such as The Center, trying to get people to understand the cycle of violence -- that abusers are not abusers 24/7. That in many cases, abusers are charming and lovely, until some event turns them into monsters. Her plea is that we all work together, to be on the alert at all times, searching for evidence of abuse in our loved ones, our friends, our neighbors and our co-workers.

So what does the Brown family's fight for justice have to do with dieting? Absolutely nothing. Sort of. On the way home from the luncheon I started to look at my life, which although not perfect, is pretty darn close. There has never been a day since I married Jack that I have been afraid to come home. My home is my safety net, a place of love, a place of comfort. I am so fortunate, and I want to be able to live this life for many years to come.

And the best way to do that: Eat healthy and exercise daily.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T

There was a time when I considered my body as my temple, something to honor, cherish and protect, something to feed with only nutritious, healthy foods.

I'm not sure when my temple became the holding place for cheesecake, Twizzlers and enormous amounts of food, but I so wish I had never let this happen. And I'm also sure that this didn't happen overnight, but gradually, over the years.

Two powerful thoughts there:
1. Our bodies should be our temples.
2. It took time to look the way I do now, so to get them back into shape will take time. There is no overnight fix.

Which brings me to Aretha Franklin, who sang one of my favorite songs, Respect. What a powerful word.

If we all respect our bodies, feed them with foods and vitamins that will make them thrive, we will simply feel better, look terrific, and have more energy. We will be able to be true participants in life, not merely bystanders watching everyone else have fun.

I don't have to listen to the song. Aretha spelling out that one word, R-E-S-P-E-C-T, is now ingrained in my mind. I mentally spell it to myself several times each day, and eventually, it will become part of my DNA.

My body. My temple. It's time I protected it more, and showed it some respect.

This joke's on me

There is something comforting about old friends. We joke, we talk, we've watched our families blossom -- but most of all, we laugh.

Friday night we had book club at Bloodroot, the feminist vegetarian restaurant in Bridgeport that is perfect for a group of women to get together for hours to chat. After we discussed the book, Sarah's Key, the conversation naturally drifted toward diets, the subject that has occupied our lives since our kids were small. This night we talked about the worst diets we had all been on, which made us laugh so hard we had tears in our eyes.

If there is one thing we have all been, it's consistently on and off diets.

I told the story of signing up for Jennie Craig, and as I was leaving, bumping into one of the women at Bloodroot this night. We laughed and laughed, but when I was alone in the car, on the way home, this fact hit me hard: We have all spent too much of our waking days obsessing about our weight.

I wish I could turn back the hands of time, go back a few decades and appreciate the importance of reaching a goal weight and sticking to it. It's time for me to stop fooling around. Consistently eating lean protein, tons of fruits and veggies, avoiding sugar and exercising daily can add years to my life. And now, I need all the extra years I can get.

Enough laughing. It's time to get serious.

Be prepared!

Be prepared -- the Girl Scout motto that I recited over and over for years. Too bad I haven't brought those two little words into my food life.

I know that when I plan my meals for the week, grocery shop for the foods I need, and then make the meals I plan I STAY ON A GOOD EATING PLAN.

It's just that simple.

I run into problems when I don't prepare and am caught with nothing to bring to work for lunch, or nothing defrosted for dinner. The fastest track to meal disasters.

Now, thanks to Food Lovers, I not only have to plan my meals, I have to plan my snacks. It's a lot of planning but it makes me feel in control. Last weekend I sat down and planned meals and snacks for a week, and did a big food shopping. Tuesday we had a terrific quick chili, and last night, a wonderful citrusy Cuban pork kebabs.

I vary my snacks, keeping them in the 100 to 200 calorie range, and have such fun deciding what I should pick. Kind bars -- one of my favorite treats that I always felt guilty eating -- have become the go-to snack when I am really harried.

It's all about planning, or as any good Scout knows, just being prepared.

Good pain

There is no morning I hate more than Monday. I have never been the type that can't wait to get to work after the weekend.

Yesterday was no different. But yesterday, because of Sunday's bike ride, I could hardly move. There weren't enough props to pry me comfortably out of bed. And then I started thinking: Could I feel any more out of shape? No! So I decided to pop in a cardio workout DVD because it couldn't possibly make me feel worse than I did.

It didn't. And at the end of the DVD, I felt great. Sort of. Still sore. Very sore. But what a sense of accomplishment.

So this morning, without even giving myself the chance to say no, I exercised. In addition, from now on, stage forward in my mind, is the image of me standing on a scale reading "fat." In this case, a picture is worth a trillion words.

And once again, after exercising, I felt great. Another pat on my back, albeit a gentle one, because now, even my toes are aching!

What a rut!

I'm not sure when I stopped eating cantaloupe, but for years, it has not found its way into my home. Recently, cantaloupes have been on sale, the perfect time to give them a second chance.

Having a slice of melon is better than eating a Twizzler -- and for me, that is high praise. I could eat a pound of Twizzlers and not feel sated. Horrid yes; not sated.

But eating a slice of juicy, ripe canteloupe creates an explosion of taste in my mouth, which is not only yummy but so very satisfying. I really can eat just one slice!

Yesterday, as I was enjoying my melon, I began thinking of the food rut I have been in. Day after day I eat the same breakfast (an egg with veggies); lunch (greens, chicken, sliced apple); and dinner (protein and veggie). It's not that my meals aren't tasty. They are. They are just too consistent, so when something interesting (read loaded with calories) comes along, I cannot resist.

This weekend I am going to set aside an hour to plan my meals for next week. Breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks. I will write every meal down in my journal, make my shopping list, and then hit the market. Next week, there will be no rushing around at the last minute to find something interesting to eat.

But most of all, I plan on mixing up my foods. Boredom be gone.

There are millions of foods, millions of recipes, and next week, I'm going to try a few new ones. If I am ever going to lose weight -- and keep it off -- I need to be creative.

My rut has not been good for my gut.

The power of infomercials

Over and over again I swear I am not going on another diet. But then I have a sleepless night, and bam, I'm on the phone ordering the diet du jour that will solve all my problems.

Right after we got back from vacation in July I had one of those sleepless nights. And I "met" Robert Ferguson -- certified nutritionist, fitness specialist and a doctoral candidate in sports psychology. The fact that he is also an inspirational lecturer might have been the real reason I bought his program, "The Food Lovers Fat Loss System."

He had me with these words: "This is not a diet." I was putty, and my credit card was whipped out before he even finished his 30-minute pitch. What he was saying made sense to me: Eat every two to three hours, and only eat the foods you love. His theory is if you eat foods you really don't like, as soon as you lose the weight, the pounds start rolling back on.

Been there. Done that far too many times.

When my box of goodies arrived, I was beyond intimidated. It is a huge box, filled with all sorts of books, CDs and DVDs to get you started shedding pounds. I did exactly what he instructed -- began with the instuctional DVD -- and put my binder together, which has now become my bible and journal. It goes everywhere with me.

Day 1 was Tuesday, and he only asked that I listen to the CD for Day 1, and include a snack between meals, so I am eating every two to three hours. Easy? No! I actually had to set my BlackBerry's alarm to remind me to eat my snack. And there were times I was not hungry, but I did what he instructed.

The really wild part: At meals, I was sated. I ate normal meals, and not once did I even think of going back for seconds.

Yesterday, I began to learn how to make a Food Lovers Plate, which when done correctly, combines a protein, a fast carb and a slow carb. I am by no means a pro at all this, but I like the message. There is science behind what he is saying, and I am eating it all up.

My direction for today: Eat breakfast within an hour of waking up. Again, not easy, but I did it. And as I am writing my blog this morning, instead of thinking about how hungry I am, I am full and content.

HUGE aha!

Something deep within me clicked this week, and for the first time in my life, I know I am going to reach my goal weight. I've said this before, but when I did, I felt like a fraud.

Not today.

And the reason is simple, actually something I began to think about when I started this blog. The name -- Diet? Not Again! -- says it all. I had decided then that I really did not want to diet. Since then, the list of diets I have tried numbers seven. I told you I felt like a fraud.

So why -- and how -- now? It started a week ago Wednesday, when my Weight Watchers' leader, Annmarie, suggested I eat a piece of my daughter's birthday cake, but to put a PointsPlus value to that piece of strawberry shortcake. I had never before ever put a PP value on anything that is loaded with sugar. When I told her I had no idea what the value would be, she suggested I go online and do some research to find out. Long story short: I gave it a value of 15 -- half the amount of PointsPus I am allowed in a day. But I also have an extra 49 PointsPlus a week -- so I started counting. And guess what: I didn't even use all my 49 PointsPlus.

In the past, if I had eaten the piece of cake, it would have set me up for a night of eating. To me, my diet would be blown, so why not eat everything in sight? I would tell myself it would be just for a night, but that night would have stretched to another day, and perhaps the next week.

It wasn't until I weighed in Wednesday at Weight Watchers that reality smacked me in the face: I lost 3.4 pounds. In the back of my mind, I thought I had been "bad" last week, because I ate that cake. It was what consumed my thoughts all last week. Once I found out I lost weight, I checked my food diary for the week, and discovered that I had eaten within my PointsPlus every day, even the cake day when I used my extra PP. Somehow I had blocked out the great choices I made, instead choosing to focus on the one piece of cake. That's really sad.

Weight Watchers has evolved over the years. The empahsis now is on portion control, healthy eating and exercise. The fact that it is not a diet but a way of eating is stressed each week. In the past, I have internally laughed at the concept, calling it a diet by another name. Today, I embrace it. The reason is simple:
* I can't get away from food.
* I love food.
* I love to cook.
* I love to eat.

And here is the key:
No matter the week, there is always some event I will have that could stop a diet plan dead. But there is nothing that can ever stop me from making healthy food choices.

If I am somewhere and there really is nothing to eat except fried chicken and ambrosia salad, I will eat lightly, but more importantly, affix a numerical PointsPlus value to the food. Thin people all over the world make choices daily.

Plus, by not affixing a PP value to some foods, I was not holding myself accountable for eating the food. Instead, I was giving myself license to keep eating. I was running away from facing a big problem in my life; running away from problems never solves anything.

I know I am on the right track, and that I will stop yo-yo dieting forever.

And no, this is not an April Fool's joke. I have never EVER been more serious and determined.

Guilt!

Karen has been my Weight Watchers leader -- off and on -- for more years than I care to admit. So when she gave it up last month, it became an issue for me.

I miss Karen and her sage advice, especially when I am in one of my diet "moods." So I emailed her yesterday, and once again, she gave me some words to ponder.

I asked her why I can be so good for so long, and then bam -- one day I wake up and start eating.

Karen, now speaking as what she calls a "civilian," says that when dieting, we eliminate things that we love eating -- something we can do for a time. Every now and then, Karen suggests you eat some of those non-diet foods. The key: You have to plan. Sure, it might extend your weight-loss journey, but it makes you happier.

"It may be slower but it helps manage any feelings of deprivation," Karen writes. "It seems to help me handle my portions and frequency of these kinds of things if I plan for them. I can look forward to them without the guilt."

It's the last word that hit me like a brick. Guilt. I sure have that when my eating is not stellar. And could it be the guilt that sends me into a dieting tizzy?

There are not enough shrinks in the world to make me understand my guilt. It comes from my childhood, growing up Catholic educated in a half Irish/Half Jewish neighborhood where everyone was guilty of some indiscretion daily -- usually more than once a day. In some odd way, it's comfort food for my soul. It's just that familiar. And we all know how comfort food can pack on the pounds.

I actually have never thought about how guilt has probably impacted my eating today. And I am certainly not going to dwell on it. Today, I am content to think about guilt, and to try to eliminate it from my being. It will probably be similar to cutting off my right arm, but hey, it's time to let go of that five-letter word.

It's time to stop feeling guilty. Guilt should be saved for the really bad things you do in life, certainly not eating a bag of Twizzlers. Instead, I will really try to plan for some diet bumps, recognize that they are part of life, and keep traveling down the good eating road. If I stay on course, I will eventually reach my goal. And if I eliminate guilt, when I get there, instead of being road weary, I will be wearing a big smile.

Guilt is not comfort; it is destructive.

Who am I?

I'm reading Deepak Chopra's "The Seven Spiritual Laws of Yoga" very slowly, because I really am trying to absorb everything he is putting forth. Today, I read a page, and then meditated on it for 15 minutes.

Chopra instructs that you close your eyes, take several deep breaths, and then ask yourself every 15 seconds "Who am I?"

Of course the first things that popped into my mind were wife, mother, grandmother, my job. Question No. 6 was the one that almost made me cry because my answer was "serial dieter." And I am. Have been for more than four decades. How sick is this?

It makes me want to beat some sense into my thick brain.

Yesterday I admitted that last weekend, I wanted to eat EVERYTHING that wasn't nailed down, and unfortunately I did. Yesterday was a repeat of the weekend: I wanted to eat EVERYTHING again, but resisted the urge. Yesterday was miserable, because the battle within -- raging between Palin, my bad inner girl, and Hebzabah, the one who only eats well -- was extreme. After dinner, the girls in the family wanted ice cream, and Jack was almost on his way to the store when I told him I didn't want any. That broke the spell, and instead, I had a cup of tea and a Weight Watchers pop, which at 4 PointsPlus, fit into my daily total.

I woke up today with a smile on my face. And the first thing I did was pray that the battle within will not be as fierce as it was yesterday.

Baked Potato soup: Yum!

It was my turn to cook our Monday night family dinner -- a weekly tradition that gets us together with two of our children and their spouses. Monday night dinners are sacrosanct -- you better have a real good reason for not attending.

This week I wanted to try something new, and Baked Potato Soup sounded so warm and inviting. It was a hit, and something I plan on making over and over again. At at 7 Weight Watchers PointsPlus per serving, I think it's a diet bargain. For our group of six, I doubled the recipe -- and it all went.

BAKED POTATO SOUP 1 large garlic bulb, 1/4-inch-slice cut off top
3 lbs. uncooked potatoes, rinsed, pierced with a fork (about 6 large baking potatoes)
6 slices uncooked turkey bacon
4 cups reduced-sodium chicken broth
1 1/2 Tblsp. fresh thyme, chopped
1/2 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp black pepper, freshly ground
6 Tblsp. reduced-fat sour cream
6 Tblsp. low-fat shredded cheddar cheese
6 Tbsp scallion(s), sliced
* Preheat oven to 400ºF. Wrap entire garlic bulb tightly in foil; place garlic and potatoes in oven. (You do not need to put them on a pan; they can go right on an oven rack.)
* Bake garlic until soft when squeezed, about 45 minutes; remove from oven and let cool. Continue baking potatoes until tender when pierced, about 15 minutes more; let potatoes stand until cool enough to handle.
* Meanwhile, cook bacon in a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat until browned, about 6 minutes. Place bacon on paper towels to drain off any fat; chop bacon.
* Unwrap garlic and squeeze pulp from bulb with hands into a large saucepan. Peel potatoes and add to saucepan; mash with a potato masher until smooth. Gradually stir in broth, thyme, salt and pepper until blended; place saucepan over medium heat and cook until hot, stirring occasionally, about 5 to 10 minutes.
* Spoon about 1 1/3 cups of soup into each of 6 soup bowls. Top each with 1 tablespoon of sour cream, 1 tablespoon of cheese, 1 rounded tablespoon of bacon and 1 tablespoon of scallions. Grind fresh pepper over top if desired. Makes 6 servings.

Imaginary "friends"

Yesterday, I named my negative internal voice Pallin, my positive voice Hepzabah. But midday, just when I was about to eat something I shouldn't, I started thinking Pallin, and avoided temptation.

So now Pallin has just become my inner BAD voice, the one that tells me I really want that chocolate chip cookie. Yesterday it was Pallin -- in her oh so annoying voice -- telling me to eat that cookie, and since there is no way I would ever do what Pallin advised, I ate some grapes instead.

Could it be this easy? Probably not. But it certainly gave me pause yesterday because it worked. Will it work all the time? Probably not, but that's OK since I am not into perfection. But I am so into tricks, and as long as this works for me, I will use it. Over and over again.

The key for me was identifying a person whose ideas I abhor and make her my inner voice of "unreason." I disagree with just about everything she stands for, so why would I ever follow her advice when she's telling me to eat chocolate chip cookies? I put a face to my inner tormentor, and yesterday I loved the result.

And of course, there is no worry that I might start talking to myself. The least amount of time I spend with Sarah P, the happier I will be!

Meet Pallin and Hebzabah

Last week I was renewed, determined to stay on track and start seriously shedding pounds. Then the weekend came, and my resolve flew away.

Why can't I be trusted to stay on track, to avoid cheesecake and lemon squares, to just say no to temptation when it's put in front of me?

And when I ate the cheesecake and lemon squares, did that make me happy? Sure they were yummy, but did they make me happy? Of course not. Yet again, I was angry at myself, and the negative voice started taking over, telling me what a failure I am.

And no matter how hard I tried to tell the negative voice to go away, she was there to stay, invading my thoughts, so instead of getting up Sunday morning determined to eat well, I had some more lemon squares Sunday afternoon. And a brownie, because the person passing them out made me feel guilty for first saying no.

Today I woke up and reality smacked me in the face. I am my worst enemy, the one who sabotages my good intentions. I am giving away my power to either food or someone who wants me to eat food. How sad. And although I have danced around this knowledge for years, this morning it is making sense to me.

If I am really going to fight my battle of the bulge, it has to come from deep within me, because deep within is my the desire to lose weight -- once and for all. And deep within is that positive voice, the one who encourages me to make good food choices. I just have to find and embrace her, so when cheesecake and lemon squares are put in front of me, she is gently whispering in my ear that I am better them those sweets, that I can say no, and if I do, I will wake up the next day happy and certainly healthier.

Today, I named my negative voice Pallin. And my positive voice is Hepzabah, a pet name my father called me when I was a child. I cringe when I say Pallin, and smile when I say Hepzabah, so this should work.

It's all about becoming the master of my universe. It's time to tap into the power within me. I know it's there. I also know that it wants what's best for me.

Super markets!

Recently, as gas and food prices have started escalating yet again, I started to think about ways I could save some money at the store. Forget about coupons: I have never mastered the art, and besides, most of the food products I buy never have coupons attached.

But I do have some shopping rules:
1. I NEVER set foot in a market is when I am hungry. When I do, somehow the worst things wind up in my basket. A few times recently I have had no choice but to shop hungry, and that’s when my emergency car stash came in handy. I always have an apple in the car. Usually, there is some celery as well. Both items hold up well to a few days without refrigeration, and besides, I usually eat them way before either would start to turn. Usually that works. Recently, it just wasn’t enough. So I made sure to pick up a bunch of bananas, and as soon as I hit the car, I ate a banana. That did it for me. What you pick is your choice.
2. Each weekend I plan our meals for the week, make a shopping list, and stick to it. I shop once a week, which keeps me out of the market during the week, out of the way of temptation.
3. I love my husband, but I find him distracting in the market. I spend a lot of time in the produce section, and Jack gets antsy. So unless it is a necessity, I shop alone. The worst place to shop with him: Costco. I really can get lost in that big box. Jack can get through the warehouse in seconds flat. I need time to stop and see what’s offered.
4. I always have my Weight Watchers PointsPlus calculator with me, so if a new food looks inviting, I figure out the PPs to see if it’s worth the splurge. It’s amazing how two similar products really are nothing alike. Take popcorn, my go-to snack when I am hungry in the middle of the day. Like my morning chia seeds, popcorn expands in my stomach and fills me up. Jolly Time’s Healthy Pop – a full size bag – is my favorite because for 3 PPs, it offers double the amount of popcorn than the mini bags, at the same PPs value. What a bargain.
5. I have my list, but if turkey breast cutlets are on sale when I get to the market, I easily substitute them for chicken breasts. Same with fish. I shop the deals, because at the register, a deal here and a deal there starts adding up to big savings.
6. I buy lots of fruits and vegetables, but I always buy them whole. I don’t mind cutting up veggie sticks or cutting up a pineapple. It takes minutes and saves cash.
7. I tend to stay out of the aisles, shopping the perimeter of the market, a trick I learned 20 years ago on a nutritionist-led tour of a supermarket. Of course, items such as oatmeal, beans, teas and seltzer are in the aisles, but it’s here you find the bad stuff as well, the processed, over-sugared foods I try to avoid. If I am tempted, I whip out my PP calculator and within seconds my temptation usually disappears.
8. Twice a week we eat vegetarian. It might be something as simple as baked potatoes with toppings or a frittata, but these lighter meals are doing wonders for our budget. We eat fish two or three times a week, which leaves two meals for beef, pork or chicken.

Kinda normal

I had a weird thing happen at work Wednesday. First, let me explain that I had been really dedicated this week to eating within my Weight Watchers PointsPlus.

But Wednesday afternoon, my boss came back from lunch with treats for us all: Nestle Crunch Ice Cream Pops. Of course, I could not say no. How could I hurt her feelings?

Besides, I really wanted to eat the pop.

But before I did, I whipped out my handy PP calculator, figured out the pop was only 5 PP, and decided I could easily fit it into my day's total. I ate that pop, little bite by little bite, drawing out the pleasure for at least 15 minutes.

And when I finished the pop, I thought to myself: "So this is what normal feels like."

What a feeling!