That felt good. But the realization that even a little bit of sugar can send me into an eating frenzy was powerful medicine for my mind. And although I might have thought this was true, it wasn't until I began journaling a month ago that I made the connection.
I hate to journal, but I now know that for me to stay on a healthy eating track, I need to write everything down. I know no one is going to read my food journal, but I still can't write down a lunch of jellybeans and Twizzlers. That would be too much for my psyche to handle.
So I gave up sugar, and threw in caffeine for good measure. First came the headaches. And of course, the cravings, which were OK the first few days. It was day four through eight that I had to sit on my hands and stay out of the market. And away from anything sweet and caffeinated.
On day 9 -- and I know this because I am journaling -- I was calm. I slept through the night and woke up feeling refreshed and ready to go.
And the really wonderful outcome: Now when I eat an apple or splash balsamic on my salad, I am sated. That is all the sugar I need. It tastes that sweet.
I have stared down all sorts of things the past month. A piece of cheesecake? I know I will wake up at 2 a.m. feeling horrid. Twizzlers at 3? Sure, I'll get a burst of energy, but I'll spend the rest of the day craving everything I shouldn't eat. I consider it poison for my body. Dramatic? Sure. But sugar really was killing me slowly.
That connection is firmly implanted in my mind. Hopefully, it is there to stay.
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