A confession

If I do nothing else today, I am going to Weight Watchers. If I get tied up at work, I will excuse myself, say I have an important meeting, and leave.

I need the support I get at meetings. I need structure. And more than anything else, I need to lose weight. For me, it's become a matter of life.

Last month, I was working on a story about the importance of sleep for HealthyLife magazine, and decided the best way to find out what a sleep study is all about is to sleep at a sleep center. Before I had time to realize what I had committed to, I was spending the night at Stamford Hospital's Sleep Center. A week later I found out I have sleep apnea, and although mild, I do have 12 episodes an hour. The diagnosis hit me hard, coming on the heels of the death of my dear brother-in-law. When our peers start dying, especially those we love without reserve, the reality of death hits hard.

And to find out I stop breathing 12 times an hour is scary. Stamford Hospital told me my case is mild, but to stop breathing even once a night is not something I find attractive. And although losing weight might not cure my apnea, it certainly is a step in the right direction.

I have written my story for HealthyLife, including a first person on the Sleep Center experience. But before the story publishes in HelathyLife, I wanted to write about it on my blog. Now that I've written it down, I feel lighter already.

The Weight Watchers meeting is on my schedule.