The big picture

One of the first mindful tasks I did on my journey to shed pounds was to find out why I wanted to lose weight.

For me it was key, because my M.O. was to lose weight for an event – a wedding, a vacation, a reunion. The week before the event luscious, sugary food treats would begin to invade my mind.

When the big day came, instead of congratulating myself on a job well done, I awoke thinking about all the foods I could eat that day. If anyone could read my mind they would see ice cream, cookies, cake, Twizzlers – all the foods I had deprived myself of for way-too-many months.

And eat I did, because I told myself the next morning I would wake up and go right back to my diet. And you know what happened next: The next morning came and went. And the pounds started to creep back on, until one day I said enough, would get on the scale, and discover – if I was lucky – that I was back to where I started. In most cases, I had packed on extra weight.

What was different this time?

I looked at the big picture. I was not losing weight for an event. Here’s what I asked myself:

Why do you want to lose weight?

Because I want to look good.

Why?

Because I am tired of my fat clothes and want a new wardrobe.

Why?

Because I feel better and more confident when I am wearing something new and honestly, I am so tired and my knees hurt that my confidence is at an all-time low.

Why?

Because I am eating foods that make me tired and keep me fat and because I want to be healthy.

Why?

Because I want to lead a healthy, long life. And if I keep going, I will not do that.

Why?

No answer. So I found my big picture. I wrote it down and keep it posted all over my house.

So here’s what to do.

Get out a piece of paper and do this exercise, trying to find your big-picture why.

Please make sure your why is not event drive. Why? Because that just sets you up for failure.

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Finding my WHY

1,215 days ago I stopped posting, because honestly, I decided my blogging days were over.

However, over the past three years I have discovered some important things about the way I eat -- all in my quest to answer this elusive question:

How could I possibly fix my eating habits if I couldn't explain WHY I do what I do?

For example:

·         Why do I eat healthy foods one day, and then decided the next day that ice cream and cookies are what I really need?

·         Why do I exercise one day, and then choose to be a couch potato the next?

·         Why do I cook a really great dinner one night, and the next day decide take-out pizza is so much better for me?

The WHY is not easy to figure out.

Have I figured everything out? Of course not. But I have figured out the important whys, and that is what I will begin sharing in this space.

I will also share how I went about changing.

The first key for me was embracing mindfulness.

Mindfulness in action

More than three years ago I co-founded Pathway to Mindfulness, and daily teach clients how to build a sustainable mindful meditation practice that changes patterns of behavior. I have watched thousands of people transform their lives, including me, but the one thing I REALLY wanted to change – my weight – seemed to be out of my reach.

But then, I began to approach losing weight as a mindful journey, without judgment.

I also embraced curiosity, which I believe is key to changing your life. I have learned a lot about my body, what can set me off on a binge, and how my moods are directly linked to the food I eat.

My new mantra: I am not losing weight. I am getting rid of it with no intention of ever finding it again. But I am doing this all with a mindful intent.

If I can conquer this, anyone can!